Yeehaw, it's authentic Swedish bootscooting.



Note: for a cool $1,900,000 you can actually BUY THIS BAND. I presume you can then force them to play Cotton Eye Joe ad nauseaum in your cellar.

I wish I were joking:

http://www.rednexforsale.com/

a) realises that Australian publishing is threatened by an evil conglomerate of corporations, in effect the nascent career of Fisch the Australian Writer is at risk.

but

b) I cannot buy a copy of Year's Best SF 26th edition for less than $46 in an Australian bookshop.

c) Book Depository can send it to me from the UK for 13 pounds=$27.  That's nearly HALF-PRICE.  And I don't even have to get off my fat arse.

This is BULLSHIT.  Why do Aussie bookstores charge so much for imported books?  CONFUSION.  Someone tell me changing these rules is still a bad idea, before the harsh economic realities sink in.  Is the writing on the wall?  I don't know enough about the market, bigger picture etc, but I know when I feel ripped off.

Back onto Super Secret Project A.  So, for various stupid reasons, I changed my protagonist's name.  Basically I thought it was too close to the first name of a character in a high-profile movie of the same genre, and thought it best changed.  (it's maybe got a slight similarity, but not so much that anyone but me would notice).

Yes.  Very pedantic.  But every part of this book so far has been bedded in pendantry and buttloads of research.  It's ridiculous the amount of random facts I have jammed into my head over the past month.

End result.  Couldn't write a word with this newly renamed character.  Nothing was working.  I got over the name issue, switched it back to my original awesome selection, and now everything is working again.

My protagonist just never cut it as a Jennifer.  What the hell was I thinking? :-)

So I've succumbed to the latest meme, and have had five Fisch-related words thrown at me from the brain of Felicity Dowker.

( cut to spare the meme-weary amongst you... )

Now, it could have been that I was in a hurry to get from point A to point B.  It could have been that I heard the man wrong.  But I'm reasonably sure, 99% sure, that I just heard a busker with an acoustic guitar singing a song about Gandalf.  Gandalf.




Yes, this guy.

Which in itself isn't completely beyond the pale.  But the moment that he used the words "Big Ole Wizard", my brain began to tear in half.  I think the damage might have been permanent. 

Please don't ask me to try and remember the lyrics, I'm applying the brain-bleach right now.

Come one, come all, to an art gallery with a difference...

http://www.dailycabal.com/2009/07/tuckers_galleria_part_one.html

Keen-eyed observers will note that several of these "artists" are actually Tuckerized Australian spec-fic people, who agreed to this lark some time ago and have probably forgotten by now.  This week I'm looking at you punktortoise , gillpolack  and Lee Battersby.  There are three parts to this story, so still more cameos to come :-)

• my story "Houndkin" has been accepted into issue #9 of Eclecticism, edited by Craig Bezant.

• I found my Clarion South note-book!  Seriously, this has been missing for over two years.  I will post some juicy quotes from it in the next few weeks.  Great writing advice that I'd forgotten, crits that have inspired me to blow dust from stories I'd given up on, that sort of thing.

• I found some dude's wedding ring on the ground.  Chunky gold thing with a diamond in it.  I've handed it in to the staff at the place I found it, hoping that whoever lost this valuable item retraces their steps and avoids an arse-whooping from their significant other :-)

• Just for the hell of it, here's a tuba army:

Transforming USB Flash Memory (2 GB) - Ravage



http://www.bigbadtoystore.com/bbts/product.aspx?product=tak10927&mode=retail

Just rediscovered this site....it's priceless.  So simple yet so funny.



http://upsidedowndogs.com

Ah, today.  Braved the weather, went for a massive walk.  Got this elaborate weather-deflecting thingy for the pram, and Baby Fisch was safe and sound. 

Just watched Gran Torino.  It was pretty cool, I love a lot of Clint Eastwood's stuff, and this movie wasn't half bad.  It turned out to be a lot more intelligent and balanced than the shorts made it out to be.  A good story, and it's not an over-the-top vengeance splatter-fest.  Well worth a watch.

Also, I tracked down a copy of Futureworld.  I LOVED Westworld, it was one of the first science-fiction movies I can ever remember watching.  Yul Brynner is a malfunctioning robot cowboy and he will MESS YOU UP.  Well, apparently Futureworld is the sequel to this.  It looks pretty cheesy from the cover, but let's face it, twas made in 1976.  I'm a 1977 model and I'm pretty cheesy.


I'M LOOKING FOR SARAH CONNOR

Have cranked out a bit more of the longish secret project, and it's really shaping up well.  I really think I've got the try/fail sequences working okay, and I'm making life progressively more uncomfortable for my characters.  Having a bit of a play with King-esque anecdotal introduction of minor characters, still unsure whether this is annoying or whether it gives depth to the story.  Hoping for depth!

And tomorrow, I shall be taking Baby Fisch to his first swimming lessons :-) so cute!  Can't wait to put him in his little swim diapers and splash around with my gorgeous baby boy.  Here you will find one proud and doting dad.

(from http://store.glennz.com/)

because catsparxshould know better than to dare me anything :-)

Well, it's been a pretty good month writing-wise.  Just got word that my story "Busking" has won the AHWA Short Story Competition.  This very cool prize includes a plaque, bragging rights, and paid publication in Midnight Echo #3 (so I guess it's a Fischer double act - my story "Hunting Rufus" is also appearing in that issue).

A full list of the winners/commendations for both categories can be found here.  Congrats to everyone (especially you Dowker, you freaky wunderkind!)

I'm feeling like I've earnt my writer stripes today.  After coming home from work, attending to baby-family stuff, I just managed to crank out a huge writing session using the type-writer only.  That's 0.66 SW (2000 words) using nothing but some crazy old ink ribbon and a whole lot of click! clack! clatter!  I don't know what it is about this old school tech that makes the words flow just that much easier, but I won't knock it.  The first couple of times I used a typewriter again, it was all a little bit weird.  Where's the cut and paste function?  What if I want to flip these paragraphs around, or change that word?

Where are my fonts?

Tough shit, Fischer.  You just get on with the writing, worry about that stuff later.  That's why we call it a first draft :-)

I have honestly tried to hit CTRL+S to save my work more than once (where's Control?).  I guess the good thing is that it's forcing me to just write, and not faff about looking at grammar and stuff.  Plus there's no time-wasting internet attached to it.  The typed version looks like a dog's breakfast, I'll be honest.  But it's WORK.  And thus I'm getting on with the business of being a writer-who-writes, and blitzing my Super Secret Project A like nobody's business.

In other news, I had cause to reference this picture today:



Dear Romans,

I will mess you up, chariot style.

Yours sincerely,

Boudica.

Hollywood will inevitably ruin everyone's childhood.

Haven't done a meme in a while, but this one seems quite interesting.  Brenton Tomlinson tagged me fair and square, so I'll do my best.  I shan't tag anyone else, but if you feel like doing this meme then by all means go nuts.

"Sometimes you can learn more about a person by what they don’t tell you. Sometimes you can learn a lot from the things they just make up. If you are tagged with this Meme, lie to me. Then tag 7 other folks (one for each deadly sin) and hope they can lie."

Pride: What is your biggest contribution to the world?
Not many people know this, but I'm actually Dirk Flinthart, that character from He Died with a Felafel in His Hand.  It's hard work maintaining two personas, but I don't think anyone's figured it out before now.  Secret's out! 

Envy: What do your coworkers wish they had which is yours?
My snappy dress sense, my impeccable ironed shirts, and my levels of alertness first thing in the morning.

Gluttony: What did you eat last night?
I had a dairy pigout.  Lots and lots of cheese, a whole tonne of yoghurt, little chocolates, the works.  I finished it all off with a giant Haigh's frog and a good lie down.

Lust: What really lights your fire?
Borat's mankini.  That shit is red-hot.

Anger: What is the last thing that really pissed you off?
People that are really pedantic about bookmarks, and who freak out if you bend the spine of a book or dog-ear a page.  Seriously, they're just books right?  Those people just need to get over themselves.

Greed: Name something you keep from others.
I keep my emotions and thoughts to myself at all times, especially online.  I don't like people who brag about their writing achievements, and who use their blogs to propagate music videos and stupid pictures of cats.

Sloth: What's the laziest thing you've ever done?
Once I was so lazy that I didn't mow the lawn all winter.  I just waited till summer rolled around and all the grass died.

I hope you enjoyed this string of undetectable lies :-)

Over at editormum 's blog she has gone to the trouble of listing all of the Australians mentioned in this Year's Best Science Fiction anthology.  It was super cool to see my story "Undead Camels Ate Their Flesh" grab a spot in the Honorable Mentions list.  Not only that, there is a strong contingent of Aussie writers and publications, including several of my fellow authors from the Dreaming Again anthology.

The full list can be found here:
http://editormum.livejournal.com/198194.html

Super cool!  All that remains is for someone to make "Undead Camels" into the ultimate B-grade Aussie horror film, and my little story shall have reached its full potential :-)  We already have the theme song sorted.
 

Pre-orders of Descended from Darkness are now available from Apex Publishing.  This book collates the last year's worth of stories from Apex Magazine, and includes stories from myself and the ever-ascendant Peter M Ball.

You can order a copy here.  I'd buy this book based on the cover art alone, even if I wasn't in it!  Brilliant.

PS Turns out this book is being released on my birthday, Dec 1st!  What a great present.